she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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