I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
