um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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