I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
