You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
