It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
