THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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