I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
