i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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