Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
