it hurts more in the daytime
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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