Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
