Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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