i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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