Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize