Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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