Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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