it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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