My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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