in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize