You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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