Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
