Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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