It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
