Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize