Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
