It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
