The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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