So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
