I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
