just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize