this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
