her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My balls are so social today.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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