is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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