Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
