Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
