check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
BRING THE BAGELS
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
