I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
