Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
