I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
