Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
