I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
