So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
