I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
