I cockslap morals
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize