I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
