the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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