i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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