just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize