I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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