i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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