It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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