If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize