hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
