Sry I called you an 8
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A+ Viking dick
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
