party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
