lets start a swedish sibling band together
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
