why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
