1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
