i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dicks are not precious.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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