I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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