Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
