Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
