He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
