i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
