at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
