Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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