The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
