my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
COCAINE IS GR8
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
