...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
