I need help removing her.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
