i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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