all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
