so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
