is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
