Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
