I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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