I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't deserve a penis
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
