I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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