Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
