You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
