I'm drive I can fine osifer
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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