Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
