Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
