I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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